Episode 2: Why are logical consequences the best form of discipline?
In the second episode of the ParentWhys podcast, the mother-daughter hosts Dr. B and Carrie Jordan talk about the following up to children’s misbehavior, and how parents should address it. The goal is to raise children to become wonderful adults when they become mature. There are a lot of ways to stop a child’s misbehavior, but that is not the only goal here. The most important aim is equip a child to be a healthy and well-rounded adult. This episode explores what tools, lessons, and knowledge parents need to achieve this ultimate goal.
Dr. B and Carrie helpfully discuss the benefits of discipline or coaching in the place of punishment; and replacing rewards with encouragement. Instead of trying to bribe our children with rewards (which rarely works and produces even more negative consequences down the road,) we should encourage them for the sake of the behavior itself.
Dr. B and Carrie explain that one of the best techniques for correcting children’s behavior is called ‘natural and logical consequences.’ What parents should want their children to understand is that when a child does something, there is always a consequence to their behavior – a good one or a bad one. The difference between natural and logical consequences is that natural consequences follow a behavior by themselves, and the parent doesn’t have to do anything to bring about a consequence – whereas, logical consequences are to be enforced by the parent. Children are quick to figure out natural and logical consequences of their behaviors, and autonomously modify it to better outcomes. The beauty of this method is that it doesn’t include yelling, screaming, spanking, or other ineffective or aggressive methods.
However, Dr. B and Carrie explain that parents must attempt to avoid producing consequences that are not naturally or logically connected to their children’s behavior. This turns the consequence into a punishment, and this is not a good way to teach children and build their character.
Dr. B and Carrie state the importance of modeling respectful behavior in our children. We do this by crafting the logical and natural consequences in a respectful manner for the kid. If we don’t do this, children don’t listen to us. If such situations are handled properly, again, by respectful crafting of logical consequences to it they will correct themselves autonomously.
Dr. B and Carrie conclude by explaining again that our children need to know that consequences will follow, and that they can do something to change their behavior and make things right, or get what they want. This typically results in them choosing the good and right behavior, and to build the good character that we hope to impart in them.
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